A member of our Leeds Craftivists campaign shares their experience of and reflections on Eco-Anxiety as part of our Eco-Anxiety campaign….
At first it was motivating; I was anxious, angry, upset, yes, but also in love, full of curiosity for the world. I threw myself into campaigning, volunteering, studying problems and solutions. I had purpose, I felt alive. This was the WORLD, billions of lives, each unique and worth fighting for. At times, the intense despair, anger and helplessness felt overwhelming; but the wonder and joy I felt for helping others kept me grounded. It became my whole life. This was everyone, all existence; how could it not be?
As with many people experiencing eco-anxiety, I became hyper-focused on minimising my negative impacts – what I ate, bought, did; every choice became a minefield. With the ever-increasing global issues, lack of meaningful action, and my inability to make a difference, I became cynical, hopeless and despairing. I no longer felt connection to the world I cared about. I wasn’t sure if I cared at all.
Getting through each day became a struggle. Numbed-out, hollow yet full of emptiness, unable to think. Or else my mind was in overdrive; see-sawing between panic, pain and despair.
My muscles would seize up, start shaking or be wracked by aches and shooting pain. I became physically disconnected, unable to feel my feet or hands. Logically, I understood the need to care for myself. But it felt like a waste of time. External problems were so urgent and affected far more people. How could I focus on such individual things as myself? It was a distraction, the ‘I’ was irrelevant, undeserving.
I was still desperately trying to make a difference. Yet ironically, I became more disconnected, isolated and exhausted, driven to do more and more by guilt and despair.
This is the reality for many people struggling with eco-anxiety. Navigating the mental, physical and emotional extremes, while trying to work and deal with everyday life can feel unbearable.
Voicing these experiences, it is often treated as a problem with ‘you’ – stop looking at the news, socialise, take vitamin D, stop being so sensitive. In reality, it is a problem with the world: systems which create and perpetuate social-ecological crises. Eco-anxious emotions make sense when our existence is under threat. It’s a normal and rational response. It is not something ‘wrong’ with you. And it means you care.
Eco-anxiety is also incredibly empowering. It reminds us what we care about, allowing us to feel joy, purpose and connection. It is a warning call, motivating us to act. It can turn on our creativity, sparking new ideas and solutions. But when we no longer feel joy or connection, only overwhelm and despair, it can feel impossible to keep going.
Finding balance is key – as part of a wider experience, eco-anxiety can be manageable and empowering. Balancing taking action, giving space, finding what we love and connecting with others can help us live more fully and joyfully with eco-anxiety. It isn’t easy. Support is necessary – whether that is from family/friends, communities or professionals. There will be times of pain – it is a painful world we are living through. But remember, all things change, these feelings are because you care. And importantly: You are not alone.
Does this blog resonate with you? If it does, we’d love to welcome you to our next Leeds Craftivists gathering on Monday 07 October, where we’ll be continuing our Eco-Anxiety campaign by crafting beautiful reminders for ourselves about our grounding values to inspire gratitude and resource our activism. You can find out more on our Events page.